Billy Joe Shaver had a reputation for being one of the toughest men in outlaw country music. But behind the rough voice, the hard living, and the songs that made Waylon Jennings famous was a love story that never seemed to find an easy ending.
Her name was Brenda Tindell.
They married three times, divorced twice, and spent much of their lives trying to figure out how to stay together.
When they married for the third time, Brenda was fighting cancer. This time, there would be no more divorce.
A Love That Started in Texas
Billy Joe Shaver first met Brenda Tindell at a high school football game in Bellmead, Texas. Brenda was sixteen, and Billy Joe was twenty, recently returned from the Navy.
They fell in love, married young, and welcomed their son, Eddy Shaver.
But life with Billy Joe was never simple.
As a songwriter, Billy Joe Shaver was determined to make something of himself. His songs eventually became an important part of the outlaw country movement, especially after Waylon Jennings recorded nearly an entire album of Billy Joe Shaver compositions for Honky Tonk Heroes in 1973.
Success brought more traveling, more nights away from home, and more strain on the marriage. Billy Joe later acknowledged the drinking, other women, and reckless behavior that had damaged the relationship.
Brenda and Billy Joe divorced, remarried, and eventually divorced again.
Yet neither seemed able to leave the other completely behind.
The Unexpected Reunion in Louisiana
Years later, Billy Joe Shaver was working on Robert Duvall’s film The Apostle, released in 1997.
During filming in Lafayette, Louisiana, Billy Joe was given an enormous hotel suite. It was far more luxurious than anything expected, but there was nobody there to share it.
So Billy Joe called Brenda.
Although they were no longer married, Brenda agreed to drive to Louisiana for a visit.
When Brenda arrived, something was clearly wrong.
She was unusually exhausted and went straight to bed. For three days, she barely got up. Even when Johnny Cash and others visited during filming, Brenda remained in bed.
Billy Joe was worried enough to insist on getting medical help.
Further examinations revealed advanced cancer.
In a 2005 interview with Terry Gross on NPR’s Fresh Air, Billy Joe remembered how that visit brought them close again. The feelings that had survived two divorces came back into focus.
They married for the third time.
Doing for Brenda What Brenda Had Done for Him
The months that followed were difficult. Brenda underwent surgery and cancer treatments, and Billy Joe stayed close, helping care for her.
For a man who had spent so much of his life traveling, the responsibility was different from anything that had come before.
During the NPR interview, Billy Joe explained that caring for Brenda gave him a chance to return some of the kindness and attention Brenda had shown throughout their years together.
It did not erase the mistakes of the past. Their marriage had been troubled, and Billy Joe never pretended otherwise.
But those final years brought a closeness that had been missing for a long time.
Brenda died in 1999.
A few months earlier, Billy Joe had also lost his mother, Victory. Then, on December 31, 2000, Eddy Shaver died at just thirty-eight.
Within a relatively short period, Billy Joe had lost three of the most important people in his life.
The Song Brenda Never Heard
There was one part of Billy Joe Shaver’s story that even Terry Gross found surprising during the 2005 interview.
Long before Brenda died, Billy Joe had written a song called Heart’s A Bustin’.
It was inspired by a small flower with white petals and a reddish center that resembled a broken heart.
The song imagined the loneliness of losing someone deeply loved.
But Billy Joe had deliberately kept the song from Brenda.
The reason was deeply personal. The words described a loss that had not yet happened, and Billy Joe felt uncomfortable sharing such a song while Brenda was still alive.
Looking back, Billy Joe spoke about a strange feeling that Brenda might die before him. That was a personal reflection, not a prediction anyone could have known for certain.
Years after Brenda’s death, Jimmie Dale Gilmore performed Heart’s A Bustin’ for a tribute album honoring Billy Joe Shaver.
The song finally reached listeners carrying the full weight of the story behind it.
The Woman Billy Joe Never Stopped Loving
In a 2001 interview, Billy Joe Shaver spoke about Brenda while looking at a photograph of the woman who had shared so much of his life.
“She was my first love and my last.”
Those words say more about their relationship than any attempt to turn it into a perfect romance.
Billy Joe and Brenda had good years and terrible ones. They hurt each other, separated, and came back together more than once.
In the end, Billy Joe was there during Brenda’s illness, doing what could be done for the person who had been part of his life since youth.
And somewhere among the songs Billy Joe Shaver left behind is Heart’s A Bustin’, written years before Brenda’s death and kept from the very woman who inspired it.
For anyone who has loved Billy Joe Shaver’s music, knowing that story makes the song sound a little different.