## Why They Had Another Child

Martin was already at the restaurant when Claire arrived. He had a cup of coffee in front of him and had left the chair opposite untouched.

He began by telling her that Eli had been having trouble at school. One friend had moved away. Other children no longer invited him to play. Martin didn’t know everything that had happened, and Claire resisted the urge to decide that Eli must have caused it.

“Have you spoken to his teacher?” she asked.

“Once. Vanessa thinks the school isn’t giving him a fair chance.”

“What do you think?”

“I think I should go back and ask more questions.”

It was the first useful answer Claire had heard from him about Eli in a long time.

Martin turned his cup between his palms. “Vanessa and I fight about him. I let her make most of the decisions because she always seemed so sure. And when I disagree, I usually give up.”

“Eli still needs you to be his father.”

“I know.”

Claire waited. This could not be the secret he had called her about.

Martin looked out the window. “Before Vanessa got pregnant, I thought Nora and you were slipping away from me. You were both building your own lives. I’d call, and sometimes you were busy. We’d make plans, and then weeks would pass.”

“We were adults.”

“I understand that now.”

He paused.

“Vanessa wanted a baby. I wasn’t sure I wanted to start over. Then I began thinking that if you had a little brother, we’d have more reasons to see each other. Holidays, birthdays. I pictured all of you getting close.”

Claire remembered those years. She had been planning her wedding and moving in with Ben. Nora had been finishing college. Martin had raised the idea of a baby more than once. Both daughters had told him they would be happy to meet a younger sibling but could not help raise one.

“You heard what we said,” Claire told him.

“I did.”

“And you thought we’d change our minds.”

“I thought once Eli was here, you’d love him. I thought you’d want to be involved.”

“I am involved. I’ve been to his birthdays. I’ve called when he was sick.”

Martin’s eyes lowered to the table. “I mean more involved.”

“You mean childcare.”

“Yes.”

There it was. Claire had searched for years for some misunderstanding she could clear up with the right words. Martin had understood her words all along. He had simply counted on her feeling differently once a child was in front of her.

“Why me more than Nora?” she asked.

“You’ve always been good with children. I thought it would come naturally to you.”

“It does with Sam and Lucy. I chose to have them.”

“I know you love Eli too.”

“I do.” Her voice softened. “He matters to me. That’s why it hurts to see him struggling. But loving him doesn’t make me his parent.”

Martin nodded, though he did not look relieved. Neither was Claire.

She thought about Eli sitting at the restaurant table, watching one adult tell him to apologize and another tell him he had done nothing wrong. She thought about a boy with expensive holidays and toys, and fewer friends than anyone seemed to realize.

“Please talk to his teacher again,” she said. “Listen to Eli too. Find out what he needs.”

“I will.”

Claire wanted to believe him. She also knew that believing him was different from offering to do the work herself.